Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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