I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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