i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
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The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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