some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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