i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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