I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
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After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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