Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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