If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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