You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize