could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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