my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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