piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize