i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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