Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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