wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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