"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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