well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize