Im at strip club and am horny
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize