dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize