so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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