How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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