I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize