dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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