someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize