Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize