she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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