either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize