Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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