Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize