please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I supernannyed him into submission
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