Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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