you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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