i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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