I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize