I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
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I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize