Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
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We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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