This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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