Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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