i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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