did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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