No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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