Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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