dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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