She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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