just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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