I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Will exercising make me less horny?
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