Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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