I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize