there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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