Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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